Suck My Flick

Dark Shadows

Year: 2012

Alternate Title: The Supernatural Takes On the Fishing Industry

Likes

• Dark Shadows features a well rounded cast.  Along with your reoccurring Burton ensemble of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Christopher Lee……..you get some great additions in Michelle Pfeiffer, Chloe Grace Mortez and Jackie Earl Haley.
• Depp steals the show as our lead vamp lost in a modern world, but it was great to see Michelle Pfeiffer get back into the spotlight……..and no, I don’t count her getting lost in the big cast, shitty story of last year’s flick “New Year’s Eve” as a comeback.

Dislikes

• There are certain elements of the story that seem either rushed, forced or just plain unnecessary.  To keep this review spoiler free I’ll just leave it at that……
• If you were to tell a woman that she has “the most immaculate childbearing hips I’ve ever laid eyes upon” you are going to get punched in the throat and will never get another chance at that chick………I don’t care if you are Johnny Depp………I call shenanigans Dark Shadows!!

Final Thoughts

• As with all of Tim Burton’s flicks, Dark Shadows is visually stunning and just plain fun to look at.
• One of Burton’s best decisions when it came to making Dark Shadows was to keep it in the 70’s era.  He could have easily modernized the story, but that would have most likely taken away from the plot.  Having Barnabas wake up in 2012 and spend the entire flick having explaining cell phones, the internet,  tablets, etc….would have been incredibly tiresome.
• With that being said…….Burton captured the 70’s era perfectly…..just as the 70’s era captures Burton’s style perfectly.  The bright colors of the wardrobe, décor and hairstyles offset against the grey backgrounds making each scene pop.  However…..The best thing about Dark Shadows being set in the 70’s is the terrific soundtrack the era attributes to the film.
• Depp plays our ignorant vamp with ease.  Both Depp and Burton could have easily gone overboard with the character’s lack of knowledge with the modern times, but didn’t.  Too much ignorance can be annoying, just the right amount can be laugh out loud funny…which it absolutely was.
• Although Dark Shadows is not a completely original story, it was still refreshing to see something different.  Dark Shadows is funny, strange, silly, and entertaining…..a well executed take of the former TV show by the same name.
• Depp’s character, Barnabas, attempts to break the mold of the all to popular portrayal of the sexy bad boy vampire which I can absolutely embrace.  For the most part this is portrayed very well…….if only Depp could act his way out of being good looking…….but I know all to well how that goes myself, we’re just cursed with beauty Johnny!  Damn our great genetics and mother’s incredible childbearing hips………….it’s a compliment mom…….deal with it.

Rating: B